snakes and thoughts on things

A year ago today, I got a text that my brother was being transported in an ambulance after my dad found him on the floor of his house.  We were not sure what was going on, but it sounded pretty bad.  I could never have imagined that day how bad it would be.  Or how the next few days and weeks would go.  I could not have imagined my burly brother, who was strong as an ox. fearless, and built to take a kick by a cow, would not recover.  I am still mad/sad/disappointed/scared to live without his help/devastated/feel guilty/still don't know how to help and all the other things that seem to go hand in hand with loss.  I have tried to stay positive, to do things that honor his memory.  To be there for Clayton and my parents, to visit his grave.  None of those things have made the loss feel lessened.  

And although it will probably make me seem completely insane, there are times when things happen that I know, without a doubt, that he is still here with us.  Watching over Clayton.  I could feel his presence recently at the beef show when Clayton was showing calves.  And last night I had an absolutely sense of certainty that he was at my house. 

Clayton has been coming to our house after school.  His mom came to pick him up.  Clayton went out the door and within a minute, was right back inside the door.  He said he stepped out the door, thought he heard a cicada, and looked down to see a 4+ foot long timber rattler right beside his boot. 

Now, I seem insane, but I know Eric was watching over that kid.  It was just too close to the house, and he was just too close to being bit.  But also, everyone stayed very calm.  Clayton was calm.  I was calm.  Jim was calm. Eric had to have been there. 

I am thankful Clayton was not hurt!  

I am far from being a 'snake lover' but I do have a healthy respect for them.  I know that they help control bugs and mice and other varmints.  I know that they are mostly good for the earth and I rarely kill anything.  However, I also have a sort of designated area in my mind, that the snakes are allowed to be in.  None of them, no matter what breed are allowed in my house or garage.  The ones who are copper in color and the ones who rattle are allowed to be at the end of the driveway, or down in the trees where I cannot see them.  They are not allowed to be in the area where my grandchildren play.  They are definitely not allowed to be on the front porch.  And honestly, although we see rattle snakes all the time, this is only the 3rd time we have had one up by the house.  And yes, Jim did "take care" of it.  He was just too close.  And I am not brave enough to capture a rattle snake and relocate it.  Sorry/not sorry.  Black snakes have been relocated on numerous occasions.  This guy is no more for the earth.  Had he been at the end of the driveway, in his designated area, he would still be here.  

This week is bound to be difficult.  Too many memories that won't shut up in my head.  Too many reminders exist.  The downfall of loving people is goodbye hurts.  

 

Needed

Scrambled photos. Scrambled brain cells.  It’s a theme! Not that it matters that much. These photos are self explanatory. 

My little buddy is becoming quite the construction man.  He is busy helping his parents remodel their master bathroom. 

And also learning to pull up and stand.  Looking like a big boy.  

This weekend, I had a pretty large list.  I wanted to get the house cleaned up, the yard mowed, fix a hole in the pool that I have been struggling with all summer, and fix the turtle filter which had stopped working.   We also needed goat food and a couple of other things from town.  Saige is also the sacristan at church this month, so a trip over to clean and set up was needed.  All of this could have been easily accomplished in a day—but!  I got up early and enjoyed sitting around a little more than I should have.  The list did get done but in a longer time span than I had anticipated.  As a matter of fact, half the list didn't get done until Sunday!  Oh well!  It was nice to have a little down time.  It was also great to see some of the kids!  Cameron and Tatum came down for Sunday dinner, and then went over to the flower picking night that a friend of ours hosted. Quincy also came down for Sunday dinner, but was a little late!  :)  She runs in her own time zone!

Maybe I should explain, our friend Becky (as in Mr. Becky from Quincy's preschool days), has started a flower garden to cut flowers from.  A few times a season, she opens her yard up and lets people come pick flowers.  You pay a fee, and she gives you a cup and a pair of snips and sends you out to make a beautiful floral arrangement.  We had a lot of fun picking flowers and visiting with Becky about garden things. 

Also - Evelyn wanted bangs.  I can't get over how much it changed her looks!  She is beautiful!

Wrenley also got a hair cut, but somehow I neglected to get pictures!  Wrenley cracks me up.  She LOVES to ger her hair cut.  She will ask me if I can cut her hair.  As soon as I say yes, she grabs a bar stool, drags it to the kitchen and sits there waiting for me!  

The whole flower picking crew!  So fun!

Saige wanted cake for Sunday dinner.  I said perfect!  I have a couple of zucchini I need to use - I will make a chocolate zucchini cake.  She absolutely did NOT like that idea.  Putting vegetables into a cake is an abomination apparently!  So I said fine - you make whatever you want.  She made a pistachio cake - with pistachio icing.  Then since it looked like Halloween green she broke out the Halloween sprinkles!   And now, even though it is still warm outside, and even though I was literally in the pool all weekend, and sweating while mowing the yard, I am suddenly ready for Halloween and fall things!  

The girls still love Skelly.  I was teasing Evie - told her it looked like she brought her boyfriend to Sunday Dinner.  

My gold fish are getting really big! 

Today Preston and Sunny start their senior year at KSU.  I am hoping they send first day photos!  I can't believe they are getting so closer to done with their college days!  

 

Another 1st day

Today is Harper's first day of school.  I have no idea why they started having the upper classmen start a day later than everyone else, but Harper wasn't upset with having an added day off! 

She was not overly excited about going back this morning.  She was not ready when I left (understandably) and so Saige had to take her first day of school picture for me!

Happy Junior year Harper!  I can't believe she is already a junior in high school.  She is supposed to be my baby! 

Instead, she is learning to drive, enrolling in classes to get ready for making decisions about college, and becoming increasingly more independent.  I am very proud of her!  

This is going to be a good year!

 

1st day

 

It is the first day of school.  By now, you probably know that I love first day of school photos!  Saige is starting her freshman year today!  I cannot believe we no longer have a child in grade school!  Time really is a thief.  

Saige must have been excited, she spent quite a lot of time yesterday trying on outfits.  She was up before I was this morning - dressed, make up done, hair ready.  I wonder how long it will last before I am having to drag her out of bed by her toenails?  

I think this should be a good year for her.  She is excited about her classes, has already sort of had the tour since she did band camp the last couple of weeks, and who isn't excited about changing schools?  

Evelyn started 2nd grade today.  That is mindblowing to me.  She is still just a baby!  Right? 

She is excited about school and excited about packing her lunch.  

Wrenley started pre-k today.  She was also excited.  Madison said she didn't even cry - which I think is a good thing.  I hope the girls all have a great year!

Harper starts tomorrow so we get 2 first days!  Yeaa!

I was up early, managed to find all of my new stops, and rocked out day one of year 11 in bus world.  

I even stopped off to sign my contract and they didn't run me off, so I guess it is official!  

Here is to new years. new adventures, new friends, and hopefully successful learning, safety and happiness. 

Last day of summer break

 

Mallory had her first day with kids today. It was a half day.  She said she has some really sweet kids and she is excited about this year.  

The rest of us spent the afternoon having a little swimming party.  

Evelyn has learned to swim without a life jacket this summer.  (Thanks Sunny!). 

Wrenley grabbed my hand and proclaimed “you going to jail!”   What?  Why?  “Because!”  

She’s ornery and I would guess the preschool will have their hands full with her.  It’ll be a fun full but still! 

When we were done swimming, the girls had their obligatory popsicles.  I asked Evelyn when they ask her what she did on summer break what are you going to say? 

She answered “I’m telling them my Grammy let me have a margarita!”  

Girl….it was a margarita FLAVORED popsicle!  

I suggested she refrain from telling them that. 

I doubt she listened.  

I know summer is still a ways from being over, but I spent a little time this evening looking at my summer projects.  

My flowers on the patio oasis are still really pretty. It has been a weird summer.  Cold, rainy days followed by a days of the hottest hot and dry days, then more rain. I don’t know that I have done a good job watering because it was confusing on how long it was since it rained last.  But they have seemed happy and happy flowers are beautiful. 

Hard to tell from a picture, but the peach sticks I planted are now taller than me!  I am super excited by that.  

And my “Eric” tree is probably 3 feet tall now.  

The last two years the end of August has been a train wreck.  Two years ago, I fell and broke my shoulder.  Last year, my brother passed away and broke all of our hearts.  

I am praying that this end of August  is a big nothing year.  For all of us.  

I am also praying that this is a healthy, successful, peaceful and productive school year.  

Ready or not, the bus rolls out at 6 am tomorrow.   

Nooooo!!!

If the fair is over.  And the locusts are screaming. And the garden is finally starting to produce, and the pool is finally beautifully clear  for the first time all summer, and Preston is home for a few days because his internship ended….it must be time to go back to school.  

And I want to scream Noooo!  I just want a few more days.  A few more weeks.  A few more mornings without the school schedule.  

But what I want is hardly ever what I get.  

And I know what my grandpa used to say about wanting anyway.

 So the girls and I went to town and got new pencils.

 And socks. 

And a few pieces of paper.  

And Jim drove me out to pick up my bus. 

And I spent today weed eating  and floating. 

And feeling sad that we only have one more day “off.” 

And driving my roads because they added several stops to the end of my route. And making arrangements with the neighbor so that the girls can park in their driveway until Harper finishes driving school and can drive them to school later next month.  

And did mention feeling sad? 

Except for the part where I reclaim a bus check, this is my sad place.  

Will I be ok?  I’m sure I will be.  But I never like the end of summer.  I’m pretty sure I never will.  

And I loathe the first couple of weeks of school.  Getting back on schedule. Trying to get people to learn the routine. Keeping the school staff from making stupid and unnecessary changes to things they have no idea about.  It is just not very much fun. 

I’ll survive. 

It was a perk up to get some photos of my widdle buddy!  He’s helping dad with the master bathroom remodeling. 

Evelyn and Wrenley went to the school open house and met their teachers.  

Saige made a wacky cat cake. It made me laugh. She used every single spoon and bowl we have on this little project.  

Saddest sight in the county. 

Maude is just about to have a lot more loneliness in her hands. She’s been hanging with her bestie all summer.  These 2 are hilarious.  

Thursday - back to school.  Tomorrow - last day fun. 

We got this.