That one time my girls turned 30...

My little babies are 30.  I never knew how fast 30 years could fly by!  It is hard for me to believe that we are at this place already.  These girls are hardworking, amazing and awesome.  I am so blessed to be their mom.  

Mallory finds happiness in teaching, her dogs, projects, and being an aunt.  She doesn't spend too much time without having some thing she is running off to, and it usually involves one of her siblings.  She is an amazing teacher and a great help to anyone who needs it.  I am proud of the woman she grew up to be. 

Madison finds happiness in baking for people, raising her girls, and taking care of everyone.  She is a great mom and a great wife.  She works hard every single day to make sure all the things are done.  I am proud of the woman she grew up to be as well!

These girls made parenting easy, and as we age, they are tremendously helpful, and involved in our lives.  I couldn't imagine having sweeter, or better people in our family.  We are very blessed!

We had a little birthday dinner/super bowl party for them last night at our house.  Madison threw Mallory a surprise party on Saturday night.  It was a full weekend of parties and fun.  

I did bake each of them their own cake as I have always done (because I felt like they had to share so much, they didn't' have to share a cake too).  Mallory got her red velvet as is tradition....but for Madison - a Dubai chocolate cake.  YUMMM!  :)  

Wrenley loves Maude.  The feeling is mutual, but I did notice that when the party was over, and Wrenley went home, Maude crashed hard on the floor!   :)  

Saige had to take some photos of us watching the football game at the Bad Bunny concert!

Little buddy is feeling better.  I love his super bowl outfit!  I am very relieved that he is recovering from his surgery and doing good!  Love me some Easton! (Seriously he is soo cute!).  

Who remembers when Mr. Mackey constantly got stuck in the fence so we had to tape a broom to his horns?  Well....now we have Armpit who is constantly sticking his head where it doesn't belong.  He is the awesome recipient of the stick of shame.  Seriously though, I do NOT have time in the morning to pry a goat's head out of the fence when I need to be leaving for work, and I am bruised up from him fighting me when I have to pry his dumb head out of the fence.  Harper had to hold him while I taped.  We both stunk when we got done.  Armpit smells terrible! (like all billy goats do).  

Wren was exceptionally happy that she got new slippers! 

I didn't do a very good job taking photos during the surprise party - it was just too crowded/crazy.  But as the crowd dwindled down, I did take a few, and the girls shared a few that they took.  Madison did a good job planning everything and making cakes.  It was a really fun evening.  

Happy 30th girls  - we love you!

Not birthday related, but story time.  I had to run to the bank on Saturday morning.  Jim hopped in with me, hoping we could go to the bakery and get breakfast.  I told him that was fine, but I needed to run a couple of other errands.  I went to the antique store to see if the owner could keep her eye out for some Corelle dishes that match mine since my pattern was discontinued, and I have broken a few plates.  She of course, agreed to helping me, but you cannot go in there and not look around.  (I mean Jim might be able to, but I can't).  Look at this cute little cow statue I got.  And it was $4- nobody can be mad at that price and I took it right out the door!  I got in the car to leave, happy because I got this cute cow, and a breakfast burrito - I mean how can a day get better?  I put the car in reverse at the same time as the person who was next to me.  I stopped and pulled back forward and that is when I noticed the passenger of the car was rolling the window down.  So I rolled my window down as well and I literally apologized for not paying enough attention.  She flipped me off!  And I was so happy already, that I literally started laughing and told her "Oh honey, I hope your day gets better!" at which time she double pumped me!  I am sorry, but I found it hilarious.  In another time, younger Hope probably would have gotten out of the car and said a few choice things.  But old Hope is more mellow and finds humor in places that are strangely not funny.  Plus, I was having a nice conversation with my amazing husband, and I had a new cow and a breakfast burrito - you'd have a hard time making me upset on a day like that! I am still laughing about it.  I hope flipping me off means that she felt better and saved someone else from her anger and crazy behavior.  

Oh and the cow stack looks awesome in the bathroom next to my barn wax warmer!

This was a good weekend after a pretty rough week.  I am thankful for it.  For the girls on their birthday.  For the husband who continues to pick me up when I need him to.  For the life that I have been able to build with a truly amazing family.  

 

The weird place.

 

This has been a very weird week.  Trying to figure out logistics. Dealing with big emotions.  Trying to figure out if we can help our kids, even if we aren’t close by.  Feeling guilty for not being helpful.  Trying to keep in contact with everyone when dealing with all of the life stuff.  Just a lot.  

Yesterday was Eric’s birthday.  He would have been 51. My mom said it best when she said “how the hell is he just not here?”  And I felt that. The loss is just big.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my brother. Both of them actually. Brian has stepped up to help dad.  Brian’s sons, Garrett and Gavin have stepped up as well.  I am thankful for them.  I wish I knew how to do farm guy stuff.  I don’t.   Teaching me would be harder and more time consuming than anyone of us needs.  Which is why I’m glad they stepped in.  

I miss Eric.  If he was here, he wouldn’t have wanted a big ta-doo. He just wasn’t like that.  He was a guy who showed love through acts of service.  Same as my dad.  They don’t say “I love you” they just show up to pull your car out of the mud. Or bring you tools.  Or tell you what feed to use.  Or deliver your new washing machine. Or show up at your door when you are moving across town with a truck and a shrug.  If Eric was here, I would have texted him and he would have ignored it, but thanked me later.  How do you honor a guy like that?  Parties for people who are no longer with us seem weird and maybe even inappropriate.  Ignoring a person’s existence and death doesn’t make the pain less.  So we got together as a family.  We hung out together for a little blip of time.  Nothing much was said, but we all know.  There is strength in sticking together.  There is pain, and love and even a little bit of healing in remembering, and I will continue to do what I can to preserve Eric's memory. 

This little girl is going to her screening for preschool.  HOW?  What the actual heck?

And this little one is making progress.  His surgery went well, and he might even get to go home soon! I am glad he is doing better!  I have been so worried.  I am thankful for Spencer and Colin sending photos and keeping us updated.  We love you little buddy....get better so we can play!

Spencer also sent a preview of his newborn photo shoot.  I am planning to frame this one!  So cute!

Side note - because it is funny --- Spencer sent this photo of Colin holding Easton.  It is a very sweet picture.  But then I scrolled in on Easton's face - I don' think he is very impressed with the care he is getting at the hospital!  

 

Tuesday things on Wednesday

 

This is my mom’s brother, Marc with his kids.  He passed away Monday.  My cousin Shannon (the tall one) passed away several years ago.  Marc passed away 5 months to the day from Eric.  It’s too much loss. Rest in peace Uncle Marc, I will miss having political conversations with you. 

My little buddy has been a bit under the weather.  He is currently in the hospital, awaiting surgery for pyloric stenosis.  I’m sorry little buddy. We hope you get to feeling better soon!  Even when he’s not feeling good, he is still a cutie pie.  Love you Easton.  We are praying for you and hoping you are fixed up and all better soon!

Side note - this boy is 6 weeks old - he has been in the ER 2 times.  At this rate, he will outpace his dad's childhood.  I better tell him he is grounded.  

Yesterday, I attended the State Association of Kansas Watersheds annual meeting.  Part of the day was spent at the Capitol, where we had some displays for Kansas watershed day, and a lunch with legislators.  I can honestly say I’d rather take a stick to the eye.  I’d rather eat a pan of hot rotten dog poop.  I can think of 8 million things I would rather do.   Why?  Because for every 5 minutes of good or helpful information, you must sit there for 2 hours. Seriously, that conference could have been an email.  And the lunch with legislators?  Yes, they showed up, of course they did - free lunch.  But seriously, we are just asking for funding - like everyone else.  They don't care about watershed issues.  They don't necessarily want to hear my problems or how I think they could be fixed.  It is like having a baby with a dead beat dad - you better be prepared to figure out how to pay for it and take care of it on your own.  They aren't even showing up with a birthday gift for the kid.  Now, do I think watershed issues are important?  Sure.  It is what I do at work, and I work hard to make sure that our things are as safe as they can be and that we are protecting both the safety and the dollars of the district.  But let's face it, unless something breaks, nobody wants to think about infrastructure.  This country is famous for building things without any thought into the long term maintenance and upkeep, and if you think there is a plan for the aging facilities, you would be highly mistaken.  I know this and live it on a daily basis.  So when I have to go sit in a long meeting where they keep asking over and over how we can expand and asking why we aren't building new structures, I have to say "because the maintenance and forced rehabilitation jobs are consuming our entire budget" that is NOT what they want to hear.  And when you sit in a luncheon begging people to fund things, what I want to see funded is not what we are supposed to be asking for.  Generally, as with the rest of my life, I am the person who is asking all the questions and they are the people who hate seeing me coming because they don't have any answers.  Can I just sit quietly and eat my little bbq lunch?  Negative - It just isn't in my nature.  As I said, I would literally rather do anything else.  

So I did.  Do anything else.  I quietly stood behind a group of school children and listened to their guided tour.  The man was very knowledgeable and interesting.  Way more interesting than Watershed displays.  And I did walk around the basement and read the little displays that they have set up down there.  And I did go into the Capitol gift shop, although I did not buy anything.  And I did ride a tour bus over there, although I am used to driving the bus, and I gotta tell you that I feel strongly that the driver was very inexperienced.  I also ate my bbq lunch, and had a nice conversation with the new kid at the Division of Conservation (and I do mean kid - I think he might be 22) and then I went back to the conference on the fancy bus where I 

Happened to notice that one of my cousins is on a task force, so I had to text her to tell her she is famous.  

Here is hoping I can skip this event next year!  :) 

I will leave hobknobbing with the hoity toities up to Jim- he likes that stuff!