brain soup

A year ago, we found out that Colin and Spencer's baby would be a boy.  It was a huge, much needed highlight in a week of hell.  We knew that this baby would be a blessing to our family, and that his birth would help us heal.  We knew he would bring joy to our lives.  What we did not know was that he would be the cutest little blue eyed, chubby cheek baby with the sweetest personality.  I can't believe it has been a year since the gender reveal, and I cannot believe that baby is now 8 months old!  I am so thankful for him!

Because look at him!  He is the cutest little guy!  And he is all the best parts of his parents.  He has Colin's easy going, happy nature, and Spencer's sweet, roll with the punches attitude.  We absolutely adore you Easton/lil Dale!

*side note - I think I better buy this baby some toys - this weekend Colin sent me photos of him playing with a stick and an electrical insulator!  Poor Easton!

And honestly, we are the most blessed people, having three insanely adorable grandchildren, who make our lives feel like all the struggles, all the work and all the years of parenting came complete circle and we can just enjoy being grandparents.  Truly, aside from the births of our own children, the best thing we ever got to do was be grammy and poppy!  

And for as sweet as this one is, she is equally ornery!  But she is also the most enthusiastic little person.  If you give her something, she is genuinely excited about it.  She has to put it on, or use it, or eat it right now!  Mallory got her new goggles.  She had to put them on - right now.  And then we had to go swim right now.  Fyi, she doesn't like tight stuff, and these goggles were absolutely worthless at keeping the water off her eyeballs because she wanted them looser!  She happily wore them anyway!

Everyone loves aunt Bubba!

The city of Carbondale allows you to keep 6 chickens.  No more.  And NO roosters!  The girls had 5 of their chickens get killed by the neighbor's dog.  They built a new pen, and reinforced it.  I got a few extra pullets when I ordered my chickens for them to take home when they got the pen built.  Yesterday, they picked out 5 new birds from my "hatchery brown egg layer special" and it was hard, because they wanted all of the chickens!  Wrenley wanted a brown chicken.  When I pointed out she had a brown chicken in her pen, she then said she wanted a black chicken.  Evie picked out a couple, and then Madison told them they had their 5.  Wrenley was not done picking and she was not happy about stopping at all!  She is a girl after grammy's heart  - I too want all the chickens!  I will be interested to see how long it takes before the girls have them all tame.  Their one surviving chicken is definitely their pet/friend.  I hope they have good luck and get lots of eggs!

Yesterday, I also managed to can spaghetti sauce and salsa.  I did not get all of the things done that I had planned.  The neighbor gave me some cucumbers, and I am planning to make some pickles, and I bought a ton of jalapenos, so I was going to make more jelly.  Guess I have projects for my evenings this week.  

I also attended the visitation for the mother of my friend, Sally.  It sent me spiraling down memory lane.  When you grow up in a very small town, and go through 13 grades with the same 30 or so kids, those kids become almost like siblings.  I spent time in their houses, my brothers were friends with their younger brothers.  Their moms took us places and did things with us.  Sally's mom taught me piano lessons for a while.  Their moms discipline you, and your mom does the same to them.  You become almost afraid to disappoint any of them.  And when they pass away, you feel it too, because they became like family at some point.  I lived with Sally at KSU.  Our parents took turns coming to town and taking us out for lunch.  Her mom was a person who loved to give you lots of advice.  I didn't always like the advice, but she gave it anyway!  Recently, her mom had grown older and a little bit cantankerous.  I will admit that there were times when running into her was a bit of an ordeal, because it was hard to get away from her.  I feel bad about that, but....life.   We already know I need to work on my patience - guess there is more work to be done there.  

The other thing I have been thinking about is how death changes your life.  I feel like losing someone close to you is just relentless.  The firsts - holidays, and birthdays without them, hurt like hell.  And you want to celebrate as you always have, to carry on, but it feels wrong.  And then there are the daily things that happen where you are just reminded by random junk and it tears you up for no real reason.  And then you relive it all over and over.  I liken it to being stabbed with a tiny knife.  It won't kill you, but it hurts and it is just so damn unnecessary.  My friend Sally is the last one left in her childhood family.  She has now buried both parents, and both of her siblings.  I cannot imagine that amount of pain, and my heart hurts for her.  

  And that is where we are at on this fine Monday...in a cesspool of my own brain soup.  

 

 

Simple Saturday

Today we had a bunch of plans.  Nothing extravagant, nothing difficult, just projects that I wanted to do, trades to be made, things that we felt like doing.  

Jim got up before dawn to go fishing with his friends. 

I did not get up to even tell him goodbye. 

Sleeping in was on my to do list!  But not too late!

Cameron and Tatum ran a 5 mile race. Or maybe a 5K. I’m not completely sure. 

I do know that they both placed.  Tatum got 7th place in the women’s division and Cameron placed 8th on the  men’s side. They did great!  

They also went to some governor’s dinner banquet.  They clean up nice!  

After sleeping in a little bit, I watered the garden. I am starting to think I’m actually going to get some okra and I’m excited about it.  My garden is starting to die back, but there are still things that need watered   The girls and I did chores and then we came inside to get cleaned up.  Saige has joined the Green Team at school. Today they took a field trip to the art museum in Topeka to look at some art made with recycled materials.  As we started out the door, we noticed we had a cute little visitor - he was about 6 inches long and was getting a drink out of the dog bowl. It was adorable.  Rat snakes are my favorite snakes to find - at least if you find one on the front porch! 

When the girls were out finishing chores, I got a frantic call from Saige.  She was screaming that Harper was being attacked.  I was putting my shoes back on, asking attacked by what?  Suddenly I hear Harper yelling -I am fine mom - the chicken just wants to hang out while I water them! 

This led into a conversation about whether or not a chicken could actually kill a human.  I’m still firmly in the camp of no - they can’t.  And/or won’t.  Now if you die in the pen, I guarantee they would eat you, but they would not kill anyone.  

It was our Saturday randomness.  

We ran to the bank and the pharmacy, and dropped Saige off to meet her teacher.  She went with cousin Jaden and sent me a few photos. I pointed out that she didn’t do a very good job of actually getting Jaden 

IN the photo! 

Since Saige and Jim were gone, I talked Harper into driving me around (practicing driving before her next driving school class).  She did a great job and I’m thinking of hiring her permanently.  I like having a chauffeur.  

We traded my friend Karen some rabbit poop for hard neck garlic bulbs.  I am excited about this trade!  Although Harper did not understand my methods, she will be so happy next spring when the garlic is growing!  

We then traveled a couple of miles down the road to some people we go to church with’s farm.  The wife had made me a great deal on a bunch of tomatoes.   When I got there, the husband laughed and told me he didn’t want money for them.  He said they were going to throw them to the chickens because they needed used up.  

About that time, Jim invited us to meet him for lunch. We hadn’t eaten in the bar for a while. And since it was disappointing when Hatper and I had meandered into the bakery and they were out of all the things we wanted, we were excited to get bar food for lunch!  

Harper and I then hit up a friend’s food stand where we purchased more vegetables.  This woman grows the most amazing vegetables ever.  I always buy jalapeños from her. And then we went out and cleaned the church.  Jim picked up Saige, who had a great time. 

I was happy to be home, but I didn’t stay very long.  I made Jim run over to look at our friend and neighbors garden. She has put everything in raised beds with trellises between them. Everything grows up and over your head.  It is utterly amazing to see.  I wish I would have taken photos.  Jim did not say a whole lot, but it would be impossible not to be at least a little impressed with their design. I am completely inspired and have plans to copy at least some of her design.  For one thing, last year, there was a copperhead in my cucumbers.  If the cucumbers were all growing on a trellis above my head, tbat pretty well eliminates the need to dig around under the leaves right?  I don’t even think it would be too hard, we just need a few materials.  That might be the reason Jim didn’t say much, he already knows the wheels are

 turning in my brain and he knows he is doomed.  

We spent the evening making spaghetti sauce.  I will can it tomorrow.  I am very pleased to say that all of the herbs in the spaghetti sauce were grown in my herb garden.  

It was a little bit of running around but I am happy with what we accomplished and it was nice to see some friends and do things that make me happy!  

 

POV- the first week is endless

I get a kick out of the stories coming from this little bus rider going to preschool.  She’s keepin things interesting.  

We were saddened to hear of the death of Dolly Parton. She was a true icon and did so many wonderful things with her fortune.  Truly a huge loss. 

I am often asked  how driving the bus is going.  I honestly very rarely have trouble with this job.  To me kids are just kids.  If I wouldn’t take it off my own kids, I’m not accepting it from your kids, and most kids are good kids I also think it helps that I don’t get my feelings hurt easily.  That being said here is how’s it’s going so far this year:

Me: you guys need to calm down a little bit!

Front seat friend (yes already): who did you call a little bitch?

Got a new kid - a kindergartener.  He never says a word to me. But when I drop him off, he seems to have a list of complaints.  And he doesn’t wait until he’s off the bus to start telling his grandma that 

“The bus driver just rolls down the windows, she won’t run the air conditioner and it is weally weally hot!”

And

“The bus driver does not force that red headed boy to share his candy!” 

(He doesn’t share with me either!) 

And my favorite - the red headed non candy sharing kid left his backpack.  I gave it back the next day.  Then he left at again!  As he was getting on the bus, he yells at his mom “see!  I told you it wasn’t  in my bedroom!  Told you so!” And then he proceeded to leave it again!  He came busting  out of the school to get it again and said “sorry Ms Hope, I’m very distractible!”

Don’t I know it!

After the bus route this afternoon I had to run a couple of errands in town.  When I got back I went down to water trees and bushes. It sure does get dark early now!  I thought it must be getting pretty late.  It was a quarter after 8!  After the rattle snake incident, we have all been stepping a little lighter and carrying flashlights.  I was happy to get my watering done and come back inside.   Until I actually got inside.  I made the mistake of getting some big bones for the dogs. They were all laying in here happily chewing the bones and there are chunks of bone and junk everywhere.  At least they’re happy I guess.  Sure hope nobody trips on bone chunks or stabs their foot with a shard of bone.  

This being the first full week of school, it seems to be going brutally slow.  I think it’s safe to say we are all ready for the weekend.  

 

Free dead heads

The local you-pick farm was on the news this week advertising that they don’t have the equipment to harvest sunflowers and that if you wanted any of the heads for feeding livestock you could come get them - for free. 

Never one to turn down offers of free treats for the crew, Harper and I drove the couple miles over and picked some dead heads. 

We got home just before dark. 

There were happy animals everywhere.  I had no idea a pony would eat a sunflower head.  Guess I learned something today. 

Also happy- Easton and Wrenley. But just because they are living their best lives, not because I gave them dead head sunflowers. 

 

snakes and thoughts on things

A year ago today, I got a text that my brother was being transported in an ambulance after my dad found him on the floor of his house.  We were not sure what was going on, but it sounded pretty bad.  I could never have imagined that day how bad it would be.  Or how the next few days and weeks would go.  I could not have imagined my burly brother, who was strong as an ox. fearless, and built to take a kick by a cow, would not recover.  I am still mad/sad/disappointed/scared to live without his help/devastated/feel guilty/still don't know how to help and all the other things that seem to go hand in hand with loss.  I have tried to stay positive, to do things that honor his memory.  To be there for Clayton and my parents, to visit his grave.  None of those things have made the loss feel lessened.  

And although it will probably make me seem completely insane, there are times when things happen that I know, without a doubt, that he is still here with us.  Watching over Clayton.  I could feel his presence recently at the beef show when Clayton was showing calves.  And last night I had an absolutely sense of certainty that he was at my house. 

Clayton has been coming to our house after school.  His mom came to pick him up.  Clayton went out the door and within a minute, was right back inside the door.  He said he stepped out the door, thought he heard a cicada, and looked down to see a 4+ foot long timber rattler right beside his boot. 

Now, I seem insane, but I know Eric was watching over that kid.  It was just too close to the house, and he was just too close to being bit.  But also, everyone stayed very calm.  Clayton was calm.  I was calm.  Jim was calm. Eric had to have been there. 

I am thankful Clayton was not hurt!  

I am far from being a 'snake lover' but I do have a healthy respect for them.  I know that they help control bugs and mice and other varmints.  I know that they are mostly good for the earth and I rarely kill anything.  However, I also have a sort of designated area in my mind, that the snakes are allowed to be in.  None of them, no matter what breed are allowed in my house or garage.  The ones who are copper in color and the ones who rattle are allowed to be at the end of the driveway, or down in the trees where I cannot see them.  They are not allowed to be in the area where my grandchildren play.  They are definitely not allowed to be on the front porch.  And honestly, although we see rattle snakes all the time, this is only the 3rd time we have had one up by the house.  And yes, Jim did "take care" of it.  He was just too close.  And I am not brave enough to capture a rattle snake and relocate it.  Sorry/not sorry.  Black snakes have been relocated on numerous occasions.  This guy is no more for the earth.  Had he been at the end of the driveway, in his designated area, he would still be here.  

This week is bound to be difficult.  Too many memories that won't shut up in my head.  Too many reminders exist.  The downfall of loving people is goodbye hurts.  

 

Needed

Scrambled photos. Scrambled brain cells.  It’s a theme! Not that it matters that much. These photos are self explanatory. 

My little buddy is becoming quite the construction man.  He is busy helping his parents remodel their master bathroom. 

And also learning to pull up and stand.  Looking like a big boy.  

This weekend, I had a pretty large list.  I wanted to get the house cleaned up, the yard mowed, fix a hole in the pool that I have been struggling with all summer, and fix the turtle filter which had stopped working.   We also needed goat food and a couple of other things from town.  Saige is also the sacristan at church this month, so a trip over to clean and set up was needed.  All of this could have been easily accomplished in a day—but!  I got up early and enjoyed sitting around a little more than I should have.  The list did get done but in a longer time span than I had anticipated.  As a matter of fact, half the list didn't get done until Sunday!  Oh well!  It was nice to have a little down time.  It was also great to see some of the kids!  Cameron and Tatum came down for Sunday dinner, and then went over to the flower picking night that a friend of ours hosted. Quincy also came down for Sunday dinner, but was a little late!  :)  She runs in her own time zone!

Maybe I should explain, our friend Becky (as in Mr. Becky from Quincy's preschool days), has started a flower garden to cut flowers from.  A few times a season, she opens her yard up and lets people come pick flowers.  You pay a fee, and she gives you a cup and a pair of snips and sends you out to make a beautiful floral arrangement.  We had a lot of fun picking flowers and visiting with Becky about garden things. 

Also - Evelyn wanted bangs.  I can't get over how much it changed her looks!  She is beautiful!

Wrenley also got a hair cut, but somehow I neglected to get pictures!  Wrenley cracks me up.  She LOVES to ger her hair cut.  She will ask me if I can cut her hair.  As soon as I say yes, she grabs a bar stool, drags it to the kitchen and sits there waiting for me!  

The whole flower picking crew!  So fun!

Saige wanted cake for Sunday dinner.  I said perfect!  I have a couple of zucchini I need to use - I will make a chocolate zucchini cake.  She absolutely did NOT like that idea.  Putting vegetables into a cake is an abomination apparently!  So I said fine - you make whatever you want.  She made a pistachio cake - with pistachio icing.  Then since it looked like Halloween green she broke out the Halloween sprinkles!   And now, even though it is still warm outside, and even though I was literally in the pool all weekend, and sweating while mowing the yard, I am suddenly ready for Halloween and fall things!  

The girls still love Skelly.  I was teasing Evie - told her it looked like she brought her boyfriend to Sunday Dinner.  

My gold fish are getting really big! 

Today Preston and Sunny start their senior year at KSU.  I am hoping they send first day photos!  I can't believe they are getting so closer to done with their college days!