pic time

I love getting photos during the day.  

Preschool is rough,  

Of course, having mom as your bus driver means super early mornings!  You know if she is falling asleep mid apple and peanut butter, she is tired!  

Bug catching cutie pie! 

Lawson got glasses.  He looks so cute! 

And you probably already know how I feel about school pictures.  I never buy them.  I really actually usually think they are terrible at capturing how my kids actually look.  These aren't the worst we have had, but Harper must love looking angry in the yearbook!

But you know who never looks angry in the yearbook?  Saige!  oh and Maude!

We are gearing up for the 3 day weekend.  I am happy to think we might get a few things done.  What things?  I am not sure yet, but if I can do something that isn't sweat in the bus, I am all for it!  I have never been one who minded warm weather, but honestly, I could embrace a few degrees cooler!  I did have to laugh, as the bus boss called me to tell me he left me a case of bottled water and a cooling towel on my bus.  Sure buddy, that will make it totally better!  

 

One year

It has been one year since my brother passed away.  

One year of life without him.  

Holidays and birthdays and family gatherings....all with a shadow of loss over them. 

I miss him.  My family misses him. I know Clayton misses him because we talked about it yesterday. 

And so does everyone else he ever met because there was just nobody like him.

The funny stories.  The tales of misfortune.  The insane ideas.  The horrible jokes.

The cracking a cold one and telling you something that seemed like it couldn't possibly have really happened, but then you realize who is telling you and you believe it, because he might have made the story telling funny, but he didn't lie about it.  The silly giggle.

I miss all of that.  But the thing I miss the most is his generosity with his time.

Eric was never too busy to help you.  If you were moving, he would show up with a truck and stay until the job was done.  If you broke down, or ran out of gas, or needed hauled off the turnpike on a flat bed trailer, he was there.  If you invited him over, he would always show up. Kids showing goats?  He was there.  Needed some animal hauled someplace?  He would come over.  People just aren't like that.  I know he had his own kid to take care of, and his own stuff to do, but he just never said no.  

I wish I could be more like him.  I wish the world was more like him.  

I will forever miss him.  

I hope I get to see him again one day.

 

brain soup

A year ago, we found out that Colin and Spencer's baby would be a boy.  It was a huge, much needed highlight in a week of hell.  We knew that this baby would be a blessing to our family, and that his birth would help us heal.  We knew he would bring joy to our lives.  What we did not know was that he would be the cutest little blue eyed, chubby cheek baby with the sweetest personality.  I can't believe it has been a year since the gender reveal, and I cannot believe that baby is now 8 months old!  I am so thankful for him!

Because look at him!  He is the cutest little guy!  And he is all the best parts of his parents.  He has Colin's easy going, happy nature, and Spencer's sweet, roll with the punches attitude.  We absolutely adore you Easton/lil Dale!

*side note - I think I better buy this baby some toys - this weekend Colin sent me photos of him playing with a stick and an electrical insulator!  Poor Easton!

And honestly, we are the most blessed people, having three insanely adorable grandchildren, who make our lives feel like all the struggles, all the work and all the years of parenting came complete circle and we can just enjoy being grandparents.  Truly, aside from the births of our own children, the best thing we ever got to do was be grammy and poppy!  

And for as sweet as this one is, she is equally ornery!  But she is also the most enthusiastic little person.  If you give her something, she is genuinely excited about it.  She has to put it on, or use it, or eat it right now!  Mallory got her new goggles.  She had to put them on - right now.  And then we had to go swim right now.  Fyi, she doesn't like tight stuff, and these goggles were absolutely worthless at keeping the water off her eyeballs because she wanted them looser!  She happily wore them anyway!

Everyone loves aunt Bubba!

The city of Carbondale allows you to keep 6 chickens.  No more.  And NO roosters!  The girls had 5 of their chickens get killed by the neighbor's dog.  They built a new pen, and reinforced it.  I got a few extra pullets when I ordered my chickens for them to take home when they got the pen built.  Yesterday, they picked out 5 new birds from my "hatchery brown egg layer special" and it was hard, because they wanted all of the chickens!  Wrenley wanted a brown chicken.  When I pointed out she had a brown chicken in her pen, she then said she wanted a black chicken.  Evie picked out a couple, and then Madison told them they had their 5.  Wrenley was not done picking and she was not happy about stopping at all!  She is a girl after grammy's heart  - I too want all the chickens!  I will be interested to see how long it takes before the girls have them all tame.  Their one surviving chicken is definitely their pet/friend.  I hope they have good luck and get lots of eggs!

Yesterday, I also managed to can spaghetti sauce and salsa.  I did not get all of the things done that I had planned.  The neighbor gave me some cucumbers, and I am planning to make some pickles, and I bought a ton of jalapenos, so I was going to make more jelly.  Guess I have projects for my evenings this week.  

I also attended the visitation for the mother of my friend, Sally.  It sent me spiraling down memory lane.  When you grow up in a very small town, and go through 13 grades with the same 30 or so kids, those kids become almost like siblings.  I spent time in their houses, my brothers were friends with their younger brothers.  Their moms took us places and did things with us.  Sally's mom taught me piano lessons for a while.  Their moms discipline you, and your mom does the same to them.  You become almost afraid to disappoint any of them.  And when they pass away, you feel it too, because they became like family at some point.  I lived with Sally at KSU.  Our parents took turns coming to town and taking us out for lunch.  Her mom was a person who loved to give you lots of advice.  I didn't always like the advice, but she gave it anyway!  Recently, her mom had grown older and a little bit cantankerous.  I will admit that there were times when running into her was a bit of an ordeal, because it was hard to get away from her.  I feel bad about that, but....life.   We already know I need to work on my patience - guess there is more work to be done there.  

The other thing I have been thinking about is how death changes your life.  I feel like losing someone close to you is just relentless.  The firsts - holidays, and birthdays without them, hurt like hell.  And you want to celebrate as you always have, to carry on, but it feels wrong.  And then there are the daily things that happen where you are just reminded by random junk and it tears you up for no real reason.  And then you relive it all over and over.  I liken it to being stabbed with a tiny knife.  It won't kill you, but it hurts and it is just so damn unnecessary.  My friend Sally is the last one left in her childhood family.  She has now buried both parents, and both of her siblings.  I cannot imagine that amount of pain, and my heart hurts for her.  

  And that is where we are at on this fine Monday...in a cesspool of my own brain soup.  

 

 

Simple Saturday

Today we had a bunch of plans.  Nothing extravagant, nothing difficult, just projects that I wanted to do, trades to be made, things that we felt like doing.  

Jim got up before dawn to go fishing with his friends. 

I did not get up to even tell him goodbye. 

Sleeping in was on my to do list!  But not too late!

Cameron and Tatum ran a 5 mile race. Or maybe a 5K. I’m not completely sure. 

I do know that they both placed.  Tatum got 7th place in the women’s division and Cameron placed 8th on the  men’s side. They did great!  

They also went to some governor’s dinner banquet.  They clean up nice!  

After sleeping in a little bit, I watered the garden. I am starting to think I’m actually going to get some okra and I’m excited about it.  My garden is starting to die back, but there are still things that need watered   The girls and I did chores and then we came inside to get cleaned up.  Saige has joined the Green Team at school. Today they took a field trip to the art museum in Topeka to look at some art made with recycled materials.  As we started out the door, we noticed we had a cute little visitor - he was about 6 inches long and was getting a drink out of the dog bowl. It was adorable.  Rat snakes are my favorite snakes to find - at least if you find one on the front porch! 

When the girls were out finishing chores, I got a frantic call from Saige.  She was screaming that Harper was being attacked.  I was putting my shoes back on, asking attacked by what?  Suddenly I hear Harper yelling -I am fine mom - the chicken just wants to hang out while I water them! 

This led into a conversation about whether or not a chicken could actually kill a human.  I’m still firmly in the camp of no - they can’t.  And/or won’t.  Now if you die in the pen, I guarantee they would eat you, but they would not kill anyone.  

It was our Saturday randomness.  

We ran to the bank and the pharmacy, and dropped Saige off to meet her teacher.  She went with cousin Jaden and sent me a few photos. I pointed out that she didn’t do a very good job of actually getting Jaden 

IN the photo! 

Since Saige and Jim were gone, I talked Harper into driving me around (practicing driving before her next driving school class).  She did a great job and I’m thinking of hiring her permanently.  I like having a chauffeur.  

We traded my friend Karen some rabbit poop for hard neck garlic bulbs.  I am excited about this trade!  Although Harper did not understand my methods, she will be so happy next spring when the garlic is growing!  

We then traveled a couple of miles down the road to some people we go to church with’s farm.  The wife had made me a great deal on a bunch of tomatoes.   When I got there, the husband laughed and told me he didn’t want money for them.  He said they were going to throw them to the chickens because they needed used up.  

About that time, Jim invited us to meet him for lunch. We hadn’t eaten in the bar for a while. And since it was disappointing when Hatper and I had meandered into the bakery and they were out of all the things we wanted, we were excited to get bar food for lunch!  

Harper and I then hit up a friend’s food stand where we purchased more vegetables.  This woman grows the most amazing vegetables ever.  I always buy jalapeños from her. And then we went out and cleaned the church.  Jim picked up Saige, who had a great time. 

I was happy to be home, but I didn’t stay very long.  I made Jim run over to look at our friend and neighbors garden. She has put everything in raised beds with trellises between them. Everything grows up and over your head.  It is utterly amazing to see.  I wish I would have taken photos.  Jim did not say a whole lot, but it would be impossible not to be at least a little impressed with their design. I am completely inspired and have plans to copy at least some of her design.  For one thing, last year, there was a copperhead in my cucumbers.  If the cucumbers were all growing on a trellis above my head, tbat pretty well eliminates the need to dig around under the leaves right?  I don’t even think it would be too hard, we just need a few materials.  That might be the reason Jim didn’t say much, he already knows the wheels are

 turning in my brain and he knows he is doomed.  

We spent the evening making spaghetti sauce.  I will can it tomorrow.  I am very pleased to say that all of the herbs in the spaghetti sauce were grown in my herb garden.  

It was a little bit of running around but I am happy with what we accomplished and it was nice to see some friends and do things that make me happy!  

 

POV- the first week is endless

I get a kick out of the stories coming from this little bus rider going to preschool.  She’s keepin things interesting.  

We were saddened to hear of the death of Dolly Parton. She was a true icon and did so many wonderful things with her fortune.  Truly a huge loss. 

I am often asked  how driving the bus is going.  I honestly very rarely have trouble with this job.  To me kids are just kids.  If I wouldn’t take it off my own kids, I’m not accepting it from your kids, and most kids are good kids I also think it helps that I don’t get my feelings hurt easily.  That being said here is how’s it’s going so far this year:

Me: you guys need to calm down a little bit!

Front seat friend (yes already): who did you call a little bitch?

Got a new kid - a kindergartener.  He never says a word to me. But when I drop him off, he seems to have a list of complaints.  And he doesn’t wait until he’s off the bus to start telling his grandma that 

“The bus driver just rolls down the windows, she won’t run the air conditioner and it is weally weally hot!”

And

“The bus driver does not force that red headed boy to share his candy!” 

(He doesn’t share with me either!) 

And my favorite - the red headed non candy sharing kid left his backpack.  I gave it back the next day.  Then he left at again!  As he was getting on the bus, he yells at his mom “see!  I told you it wasn’t  in my bedroom!  Told you so!” And then he proceeded to leave it again!  He came busting  out of the school to get it again and said “sorry Ms Hope, I’m very distractible!”

Don’t I know it!

After the bus route this afternoon I had to run a couple of errands in town.  When I got back I went down to water trees and bushes. It sure does get dark early now!  I thought it must be getting pretty late.  It was a quarter after 8!  After the rattle snake incident, we have all been stepping a little lighter and carrying flashlights.  I was happy to get my watering done and come back inside.   Until I actually got inside.  I made the mistake of getting some big bones for the dogs. They were all laying in here happily chewing the bones and there are chunks of bone and junk everywhere.  At least they’re happy I guess.  Sure hope nobody trips on bone chunks or stabs their foot with a shard of bone.  

This being the first full week of school, it seems to be going brutally slow.  I think it’s safe to say we are all ready for the weekend.  

 

Free dead heads

The local you-pick farm was on the news this week advertising that they don’t have the equipment to harvest sunflowers and that if you wanted any of the heads for feeding livestock you could come get them - for free. 

Never one to turn down offers of free treats for the crew, Harper and I drove the couple miles over and picked some dead heads. 

We got home just before dark. 

There were happy animals everywhere.  I had no idea a pony would eat a sunflower head.  Guess I learned something today. 

Also happy- Easton and Wrenley. But just because they are living their best lives, not because I gave them dead head sunflowers.