I had a couple days of intense depression and mourning. I am still extremely unhappy, but I cannot stay in the depression zone, or I might get lost there. I have to do what I do. I switch focus. I figure out what to do to make sure my own family is ok. I 'fix' it with my own rationalizations.
Except this time feels different to me. This time, the rationalizations aren't there. I have a couple of things I am thinking about, and a couple of ideas that may or may not work out. More on that to come.
For today, though, I know we are ok. For today, sanity is still in place.
So as my brain works in the background, I am sharing some pictures of the baby. Except she isn't a baby any more. She is a big, wild, feral, hungry, starting to walk, gives you kisses and loves, then hits you, looking more like a toddler, kid!
The girls each got a kitten. This is Twix, he seems oblivious to the real need to run from Wrenley. Madison said the other kitten runs and hides! Obviously, the other kitten is much smarter! Or likes kissing less? Madison also came out to Wrenley standing on the back of the couch looking out the window. I tell you, this girl is a climber!
And pictures of the Pride's pot in front of my office. It is November 8, and the petunias are still going! They threw some mums in the pots, but she said the petunias were looking too pretty to pull out. I can't get over it! We have had a couple of pretty cold nights, but apparently not cold enough to damage the plants! I know it is coming, but for today, I am still enjoying them!
When I ran to the neighbor's house the other day, I happened to notice the cow who was happily grazing in the cemetery. I don't know why, but it made me laugh.
Jim and I had made a decision to find a new home for Norma. I have tried. Everyone wants a tiny puppy, or a specially bred dog. In the meantime, I sort of started feeling guilty about it. And I have been working harder with her. She knows some stuff. She minds fairly well, sometimes. It gives me small glimpses of hope that maybe she is going to be ok, and that maybe we should just let her stay with us. Maybe - I don't know. Now that my arm is functioning better, I can manhandle her a little easier, so it may end up ok.
Shifting focus - (aka is my ADD showing?) the shoulder debacle - I am now an official physical therapy drop out. I loved my physical therapist. She was awesome. The problem is that I am literally out of vacation time at work, running up there between jobs is incredibly stressful (time wise almost impossible), and I feel like if I just use the arm it will improve enough to get me back to where it was before. I have been doing the exercises that the PT suggested, and I do feel like the arm is about 80% back to normal. Technically, I am not to be lifting things more than 2-3 pounds, but this is the Hope school of healing around here - that just isn't realistic. Fake it til you make it right?
Also, I am sad to report that last night, Jim and I ran to get groceries, since I have to work all weekend. We dropped off some stuff at Mallory's and then headed home, and I hit a deer. Luckily, it was a small one, and only did minimal damage to my car. Have I mentioned I love my car? I plan to drive it for a long , long time. So of course, it will look like a hurricane hit it. I am not turning it into insurance. I think instead, I will try to fix it myself - you know with some silicone and finger nail polish. Good as new. It isn't' the first time the bumper has received damage - I had the car approximately 2 minutes when Quincy unloaded feed from the trunk, and somehow hit the shed, tearing off the bumper. My old buddy Jagger bolted it down and used some zip ties to hold it in place. I mean, rugged people have rugged vehicles right? I will try to take some pictures for reference.
The worst part of this story should probably be told. As Jim was telling the girls what happened - he told them "and when she it, the sound was terrible - it went BAM-bi." (Yes, I married a comedian).
And now, back to regularly scheduled programming.
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