Today (yesterday- I guess it is passed midnight now) was not a good day in our family. My brother passed away. Last week, he had a major stroke. He spent the last week in ICU at KU medical center. He received excellent, compassionate care. Everything was done, tried, prayed about, cried over, asked and begged for. but it wasn’t a fixable situation. My “little brother” is gone. A hole that isn’t fillable is left here.
My brother was really good at 3 things -
** helping people. Not later. Not when he got around to it. Now. If you called him, he was on his way. No questions asked - he was in the truck, headed to you. He never asked to be repaid. He never made you feel bad about asking, he never held it over your head, he never stopped coming no matter how many times you asked. No matter how much you screwed up- he was on his way.
**being a farmer - my brother, at 5 years old informed my mom he didn’t need to start kindergarten, he was going to be a farmer. My mom replied with - yeah well, farmers have to be able to read the farm report. At 8, he informed her he could read and would go ahead and drop out. Farming was his only career goal, his only livelihood and his only true passion. He was a farmer. He liked farm stuff. Liked to talk about farming and cows. When he was younger, he spent a long time traveling with a harvest crew. He saw a good portion of the country. When he got back, he asked me if I wanted to see pictures of his trip. He then showed me a pile of photos, all the same/ all of his combine with a peanut head on it, a cotton head on it, a corn head on it, or whatever other thing they had, and one photo of a woman who traveled with them and she did their laundry, cooked their meals and took care of them. I wasn’t expecting anything else, but thought geez- you just saw the entire country- maybe a scenic Mountain View, or a cool sunrise could have been thrown in there?
And **he was a great dad to his only son, Clayton in October 2010, my brother stopped in my office He had never randomly stopped in before, and he’s never stopped in since, but he stopped to tell me about his newborn son I will tell you he was glowing I wish I had thought to take a picture- he was giddy, excited and overjoyed at the birth of that baby And it never changed He was proud of his son. He loved him unconditionally, and it showed
Eric was a good man Nothing about this feels right nothing about it is right We are not ok I am not ok
Will I ever be? No….I will be better but I will always carry this day - it is imprinted in my mind and on my soul forever My brother was fun guy with a million crazy stories, a million odd things that had happened to him and we often laughed at his tales of misfortune Today it just isn’t funny Tomorrow- maybe
One thing I know about bad days is that they don’t last My brother will be remembered with fondness and love And the knowledge that he would not want us to cry for very long. He would want us to carry on Feed the cows take care of each other and watch over Clayton and we will - tomorrow For today I’m just going to sit here and cry a little bit
***
