Memorial weekend

 

It is Memorial weekend.  We also attended a memorial service for Jim’s dad.  His death was complicated by Covid times, and additionally, he donated his body to science, and so they postponed an in person memorial service for later.   Yesterday was later.  It has been close to 4 years since grandpa Ken passed away.  It seems surreal that it has been that long.  It was a nice service, with a lot of people traveling in from far away to attend.  It was amazing to see Jim’s sister Pam, her husband Ben, and their daughter Sarah again.  Aundrea, our niece whom we haven’t seen in quite a while, Uncle Ray and cousin Lindi, along with her husband Rolf made the long trip from Indiana.  It was good to see them all.   A few of Jim’s high school friends and a fraternity brother also came by.  I know it meant a lot to Jim, and I enjoyed visiting with them.  

That being said, I’m unsure how to properly say goodbye to a person who is responsible for raising my husband.  So many of the qualities that make my Jim amazing I know came directly from his father.  His patience with my nonsense, his acceptance of trying all the things, his need to learn about things the kids are involved in, the extreme love for rules and order, the insanely proper manners, the incessant question asking, and his love of debate  - all directly and distinctly came from Ken.  A lot of the people who spoke yesterday mentioned some sayings that Ken used to say.  Things like “stay curious.”   I’m not sure I exactly recall those things, but I do recall that anytime I talked to him about things we were doing, the next time he saw me he would have learned something about it.  I told him I wanted to get some goats.  He sent me a ton of articles about the benefits of using goats to clear land.  He became a huge fan of my goat farming ideas.  He also occasionally emailed me and asked questions about how the goat farming was coming along, and sometimes told me how proud he was of Jim, and the things we were doing.   We didn’t spend as much time with him as we could have or should have, but he was always in our fan club, and he was good about letting it be known.  I do miss the articles and the occasional “well your dad thinks it’s a good idea” when debating with Jim.   

My kids lost a good grandfather, Jim lost a man he had a deep love and respect for, and I am minus “my favorite father-in-law” there aren’t words to express the loss.   There aren’t adequate ones anyway   We can only laugh at the crazy memories, and hope that the things he taught us won’t be forgotten   

After the service, Jim went fishing on his “old stomping grounds” with Andrew and Evelyn.  It is something he has been wanting to do for a long time, and I am so glad he had the opportunity.  They got home pretty late, and had the pizza leftovers from the dinner I shared with Colin and Spencer, Cameron and Mallory and the girls.  It was a good day, and I always like when my kids come home!