Happy Halloween 2023!

Evie came to my office this morning all dressed as a fairy and ready for her pre-K party.  She was overstimulated at 9:00 am.  We did wander around town and got some treats from the merchants in town who all know her, and who she thinks are all her besties.  She was a little bit miffed at her mother - she wanted to be a vampire fairy and her mom said no to her teeth and blood at school.   She asked me about 155 times if I was coming over to watch her Halloween parade.  I had not actually been planning to - as I thought Jim might need help with handing out the city’s candy and I was worried about him overdoing it when he is finally starting to make progress towards feeling a bit better. Luckily, he has some great co-workers who covered it so I was most definitely not needed!   

Sixth grade doesn’t get to be in the trick or treat parade.  They did get to have a fall festival with games, candy and some stem activities.  Saige said it was ok.  The junior high had a dance today during school hours. They sent home a note asking for cookies.  Last night, I asked Harper if she was going to the dance, and if she needed cookies.  She answered with a grimace and a “yes….since I’m not flunking I have to go to the dumb dance!”   I’m a little worried that she will flunk on purpose to avoid future dances.  Tonight when I asked how it was her response of  “So dumb” wasn’t what I was hoping for.  I had hoped she would have had a great time.  

This girl got to have a party, a parade, and Gg and I made it over to watch.  Tonight she went trick or treating and seemed to be having a great time.  

Sadly, I am down to one trick-or-treater.  Saige dressed as her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Washington. She had a little friend drama, but finally met up with some people to go out with (because going with your mom means you are hopeless (get it?) and uncool.  I was more than happy to let her go with her friends and I sat over at Mallory’s house.  

Halloween is my favorite.  Not as chaotic as it used to be, but still fun.  Happy Best Holdiay!  

30th anniversary

Today is our 30th anniversary.  I think between taking a little trip with this man, and then the subsequent back pain he suffered as a result of that trip, I have been reflecting a little bit about marriage, and in particular about our relationship.  Thirty years ago, I was 21 years old.  I thought I knew a lot of stuff.  I thought I was prepared for marriage, I mean after all, we took a marriage prep class, and a few of the couples didn't make it through, but we did.  We had talked all about religion, finances, future children, communication, intimacy, differing viewpoints and politics.  We knew a lot about each other, and had taken all the steps.  We didn't fight while planning the wedding.  We didn't fight when finding the perfect starter apartment, we managed through the death of our first pet.  We got along amazingly.   We were ready, we would be the best married couple ever!  YEAAAA I didn't know squat!  

Because marriage is messy.  It is more than just getting along.  It is about learning to deal with past trauma, with jealousy, with inadequacies, with being let down by the person you swore you would love forever no matter what.  It is about being frustrated by your children (who you love dearly) and needing a break from them, and having a backup so that you can step away.  It is about figuring out how to pay something off, just to be smacked in the head with a vehicle breakdown, or a hospital bill.  About starting over, and over and over again to make things right when you fail.  It is about taking care of someone when they are at their lowest point, or celebrating with them when they succeed with something only you knew they were dealing with.  It is about small victories, and small defeats, and the day to day to day to day messiness of life.  I have seen this man at his worst, and have had to remind myself that I do love him.  He has seen me at my worst, and had to remind himself of the same thing.  It is a choice that you cognitively make that you want to stay together, even when throwing in the towel would be easier.  There is just no way you could take a class and prepare for it, and there is no way you could ever really know what you are getting into until you are in so deep getting out unscathed is not an option.  

And I know this does not sound amazing, or awesome, or like something anyone would willingly choose, but I would choose it all over again in a heartbeat.  Because the amazing thing about it is that the rewarding moments are so much more than the bad ones.  The babies born, the grandkids we were given, the big, amazing blessings, the times when it is the end of the day, and you feel like life kicked the crap out of you, but your husband is there with a giant hug and a dorky joke.  Those things make it all worth the effort.  

And the thing about society saying opposites attract?  I believe that nothing truer has ever been said.  Jim is everything I am not.  I am everything he is not. He is quiet, introspective, research and proof needed to make a decision, likes old tv shows, polite to a fault, loves old 80's feel good music, loves sports, and collects things that hold nostalgic memories for him.  I am loud, chatty, love to make snap decisions, rarely watch tv unless it is the news, enjoys all sorts of music, hate clutter and collecting things (except craft supplies where I am a terrible hoarder), don't necessarily like organized sports (particularly professional ones), love all the pets and animals I can possess, love to follow politics and current events, and have no problems telling people where to stick it.  Do you think these people don't have issues with how to handle life?  It has been a lesson in patience more times than I care to admit.  The thing is though, Jim also causes me to think about things from a different perspective.  To research the things that I think are good ideas, and to take a moment to breathe before I speak, and those are true blessings.  Having him around makes my life better.  I am more than thankful for him, for our life together, and for the family we have created.  I could never say it isn't worth the effort.  Every single day we get to be together is a gift, and one I am grateful for.  

Happy 30th Anniversary Jim!  I love you.  

Halloween fun

One thing you might  know about me is that I absolutely LOVE Halloween.   It has always been my favorite.   My mom got Carlos a little piggy costume, and since we were having a little Halloween party, he got all dressed up.  

We had a little Sunday dinner party.  We had Feet loaf, finger dogs, Halloween cookies, apple nachos and pudding.  The girls helped me with the cookies. 

We also carved our pumpkins and painted some Halloween ornaments I found last week in Oklahoma.  

I love Sunday dinner, my little crazies, and a good night of crafts and cooking.  

I’m noticing my Halloween insanity is not quite as crazy as it used to be.  It is sort of sad, but I am thankful for grandkids who are just as excited as the kids used to be.  I just need someone to project my craziness onto!  :)  

KSU Saturday

A few days ago, our neighbor gave us 2 tickets to the game today.  When she asked, I had not looked at the weather, and I didn’t think Jim would still be struggling with back/hip issues.  I just know how much Jim loves going, and told her yes!   Yesterday, Jim told me he was concerned that between having to walk as far as you always have to, and then potentially standing during the game itself, was going to be too much for the pain he is still experiencing.  I didn’t think I wanted to go because I had seen the weather forecast of 34 degrees and rain.  Guilt is a strong factor sometimes in the things I do.  I tried to give the tickets to my brother, but they were like “have you seen the forecast?”   So I asked Harper and Saige if they wanted to go.  Huge negative from the younger crowd.  When Quincy came home, I asked her and shockingly, she said yes!   She texted her Saturday job, and was told to take the day and go!  So, having a date, I decided to go out and purchase some ponchos and umbrellas, dig out our trusty Carhart coats, and cowboy up.   Peggy warned us that they were general admission tickets, and to get there early, which we did.  Unfortunately, the parking situation out there is a nightmare, and I wasn’t prepared for that. By the time we parked (expensively) and walked over, the north field goal seating was packed.  They let us sit in chairs in the handicapped section, as long as we promised to move if any wheelchair  bound people showed up.  Luckily for us, it wasn’t an issue.  We had great seats and it was a really fun game to go to.  We enjoyed looking for Preston’s friend Max in the band, and we met up with Preston when the game was over.  We didn’t get to hang with him very long, but it was nice to grab a hug anyway.  Because I was not smart when leaving, we ended up taking the scenic tour of Manhattan, including the house Jim lived in when we met.  The old dungeon looks about the same as it did 32 years ago!  I am so thankful that it never rained during the game, and equally happy that my car heat works, and I was able to defrost my hands and feet!  If I was being totally honest, although I had fun, I am a person who would much rather watch it on tv, inside my house, without lines for the bathroom, and without freezing.   I can’t even tell you the last game I went to, that is solidly Jim’s department.  I am hoping he feels better soon, he can take the reins back on the live game front.   

The girls had a fun night planned.  They are at the Five Nights at Freddy’s movie with Clayton.  I have known Clayton for a long time, and I’m not sure when I have ever seen him more excited. I hope the movie is worth it!  A couple of them even dressed up!   

Evelyn is excited because they were having a sleep over with Aunt Mal.  Well….Evie is.  Aunt Mal said they have to pick up little miss Wrenley because she doesn’t want night duty.  

Jim had to help with soccer today, since the park and rec director stepped down, and they haven’t hired a new person yet.  I think that he wore himself out, he has really struggled this week.  I keep thinking he is moving a little easier, but he just hasn’t been able to get back to “normal” yet.  He went to bed, so that left me all alone with a project I wish I had done when it was warmer and not raining!  I have set up a tank in the basement for the goldfish we had in an outdoor pond.  By the time I got it set up, it was dark, and I can’t see the fish.  It is supposed to be really cold tonight, so I am now running a siphon so I can get the water low enough to find the 3 fish who are hiding in the bottom muck.  Three were good little fish and came up to eat.  I hope I catch the others soon so I can put on dryer clothes!  Next year we must do this sooner!  

It has been a good day. I’m happy I had some time with Quincy. We will definitely sleep well tonight, since I broke down and turned on the furnace!   Hello winter.  I’d say welcome back but in my mind, you’re never welcome here.