Reconciliation

27 years ago (almost 28), we had our first children.  A beautiful set of twin girls, who we were so blessed to finally meet!  I had struggled to first get pregnant, and then to carry the girls to term, and then Madison was born with a diaphragmatic hernia, which required her to be air lifted to Kansas City for surgery.  She was a very, very sick child, and although we had no idea (the internet was not real prevalent at that time) how sick she actually was, the very act of having to hand over a baby we wanted and worked so hard for was soul crushing.  I will never forget that day, one of the best and yet hardest days of my life.  I was so excited about being a mom, I was so happy to hear my little girls cry, I was so devastated over not having the natural childbirth I dreamed of.  We were both devastated that the problem the sonographer thought they could see was actually correct.  I cried, I felt broken, I had to trust that everyone but me knew what was best for my baby girls.  And then I had to hug my husband and tell him goodbye so that someone could go to KC to be with the very sick baby, and that someone could not be me, as I had just had a major surgery.  Mallory was ok, and I am so happy that I was able to be with her, and had her to sort of lessen the blow of them snatching Madison away from me, after I had only been allowed to see her for a few minutes, and never allowed to hold her at all.  Madison, as we all know, was a fighter.  She had surgery at 24 hours old, endured a 4 week NICU stay, and regrew her missing lung in less than 1 year.  She has amazed us, and been a complete blessing to our lives.  During her surgery and hospitalization, she was given donated blood.  It saved her life.  I promised myself that I would donate blood as soon as I could, as I wanted to give back to the program that helped save my child's life.  

Five years ago, we had a surprise grandchild.  Again, she was born early and spent weeks in the NICU.  Again, she was given donor blood, and it helped save her life.  Again, I told myself I would donate blood.

Four years ago, my very sweet grandchild was extremely sick with anemia.  She was hospitalized and again given donated blood.  Again, I promised that I would begin donating blood.  

Three times I promised myself that I would give to this worthy cause, and three times I have failed to uphold that promise.  Three times my loved ones have been saved by the generosity of strangers.  Three times I have prayed for miracles, and they were granted.  And three times I failed to give back.  I have no idea why.  Sometimes in the heat of the moment you know how important things are, but when the crisis is over it is easy to put off doing what you promised yourself you would do.  Last week, the school sent out an email, one of the clubs was having a community blood drive as their community service project.  They were begging people to donate.  It struck me that I had never upheld the promises that I made to donate when my crises were over.  I can do better than that right?  So today, for the first time, I made a donation.  Honesty, one of the easiest things I have ever done in my life.  And I got a free shirt, free snacks, and a free STD screening (although if that doesn't come back clean, I am going to have a lot of issues with my spouse).  

I feel better having kept my promise.  I hope my blood gets used, and it helps somebody.  I will continue to donate whenever I can.  I feel like this was reconciliation I needed today.  

The day “off”

The kids had a day off of school today.  I do not profess to know why exactly, but I never look a gift horse in the mouth.  I had a list, a couple of worthy causes, inspections to finish, and a 4-H meeting to prepare for.  

I started out early with good intentions.  Unfortunately, Jim had a setback on his back/hip pain progress.  He needed help.  I was happy to help him, but I am sad that the progress he had made seems to have taken a back slide.  We got him from the bedroom to the recliner, got him some breakfast so he could take some Tylenol and made a quick decision that he would not be going to his dentist appointment, or to work at least for the morning.  That gave me a brilliant idea….Quincy broke a tooth last week, I would just call and then send her in Jim’s place.  Which created a new problem because she is house sitting next door. She didn’t have school, so she was planning to sleep in their basement where it’s nice and dark and wasn’t planning to get up.  Try getting her to answer her phone under those conditions.  I had to put on my shoes, drive next door and knock until I woke up their dog, knowing that Minnie would bark and wake her up.  Now, I do possess a key to their house, but that wouldn’t have been near as much fun would it?  Also, she was going to be mad.  I didn’t want to risk having a shoe thrown at my head!   She did get up, but by the time she got their chores done and came home, the dentist office had called to say that the dentist was out today, so they couldn’t fix her up.  Once  again, risking getting a shoe thrown at my head I broke the news to her that I woke her up on her day off for no reason!   Whoopsie.  (No shoes were thrown, but if looks could kill…..). 

I made sure Jim was settled in and went out to deal with the quail.   I am sorry if you are sick of quail pics, but I am completely obsessed!   I love how they already recognizing the lunch lady.  I love how they make little sweet noises.  I love how they hide and are sort of timid, but are sort of curious at the same time.   I was a little alarmed to see that something (likely a raccoon) had moved the rocks I had placed around the bottom of the poultry netting to keep it tight.  They cannot get through the chain link, but they absolutely moved every single rock.  Oh how I hate raccoons!   Of course, I bought some “livestock guardian” type dogs- but it is relatively hard to guard livestock when you are busy laying on the couch!

Today I finished up the last of the inspections I have to do.  Two of the lakes we visited today are my favorites.  So much beauty and peace.   We have 2 more days of federal inspections, but my maintenance guy will accompany them and I won’t go along.   My out of the office days of being outside in the nice fall weather are over for this year.  I’m ok with being finished.  Always nice to mark things off my lists!   I have a relatively new maintenance person. He has done a remarkable job.  He has busted his buns and it was very apparent.  He’s not quite as personable as my last person, but I sure can’t fault him on the job he has done for us this year. My life is made easier by having good people in place, that is for sure!  

The girls had a 4-H meeting this evening. I ran out to load stuff in the car and was pretty blown away by how beautiful the sky was.  Have I mentioned lately that I love where I live?  You know what I don’t like? The fact that it was 5 pm and well on the way to being dark!  

Jim isn’t better this evening, but he did go to work this afternoon.   I have a feeling that he needs another trip to the doctor or the chiropractor.   The rest of this week is bound to me hard for him with it being his crazy meeting week.  We will figure out something that works I hope.  

And finally - the best stuff

This weekend was a mess of work and taking care of junk.  Today, we went to church, and afterward, Jim helped me run to Sam’s and get groceries.  Because we failed to plan ahead, it was the kind of shopping where you have to go inside and walk around.  And we had to hurry because I had a shift at the liquor store.  Quincy, Harper and  Saige helped me get everything put away.  While I was at work, Mallory and  Madison cooked Chinese food for Sunday dinner, and Quincy cleaned the kitchen. 

Harper, Saige and Quincy also tackled chores,  cleaned the house, and put away the Halloween decor.  

I came home to an amazing hot meal, mostly clean house, sweet grandkids, and kids all visiting and hanging out with their dad.  I am abundantly blessed!

Thanks for all the help today!  I never could have  accomplished all these things without you!   

The kids have tomorrow off of school.   I’m very  happy about this, since the weekend was chaotic insanity.  I need a day without the bus breaking up my day to accomplish laundry!  

I’m early (I’m always early!)

Yesterday, my boys met up in Austin to go to the  KSU game together.  It was an interesting game - KSU battled back from being pretty far down, ended up in over time (shouldn’t have been but they missed a short field goal) and then ended up losing.  Jim has been taking the boys to a KSU game at least once a year since they were tiny.  There are so many funny stories (funny now - like the time he lost Cameron) and they always had such a good time going.  It makes me so, so incredibly happy that they found a way to go this year.  Meeting Cameron halfway so they could do this together.  When they were all small, I used to preach and preach to them about your brothers and sisters being your best friends.  The people you could count on when you were older.  The people who would be the shoulder to cry on when the people you grew up with get old and pass on.  The fact that they get along, and do things together, and legitimately love each other makes me feel like I accomplished something in this life.  The younger girls are still a work in progress on the love your sister part, but the older crowd makes me believe there is hope!   Also, I am hoping that within 6 months Cameron and Lauren will be done down south and living back a little closer to us.   (Yes this is my pathetic attempt to drop hints at Lauren who I know reads this blog- love you Lauren).  

Yesterday, I drove junior high girls basketball to Tonganoxie.  If you are looking for top contenders in a contest of which sports are the worst to go watch, junior high girls basketball is a pretty high contender.  Of course, I don’t have a child playing, but I do have girls this age, so I knew most of the kids.  That didn’t help.  These girls scores are in the high teens to low twenties - for the game.  It isn’t for lack of trying. I bet they threw up 5-6000 shots.   And they won.  I think one of the game’s final score was 21-14.   It is brutally awful.  And don’t even get me started on the fouls- junior high girls are a different breed of mean!   I think watching paint dry might be more entertaining.   Which is why I was excited when it was the final game’s halftime I could leave to go start the bus at the exact time the KSU game was kicking off. Although, as I mentioned before, that game was hardly worth the effort to watch.   I was home a little after noon.  I had work to do, but instead I sat around watching Jim turn himself inside out over the game.  I was also watching for the boys on tv, but never saw them!  

When it went to overtime, I threw in the towel and  went outside to get back to the quail pen fixing.   Harper and Saige helped me, although at one point i had to stop to cut a zip tie off a finger that was turning purple, at one point i had to stop a chihuahua from chasing a pony, and at one point I had to stop to look at one of the wild kittens who is “sooo cute.”    I also spent some time noticing that I ended up with 5 roosters in the batch of strange chickens I bought last spring, and they are excessively aggressively mating my hens.  I think I found someone who wants a freezer filled with roosters, and we will take care of that this week.  I would much rather have a pen full of peacefully living hens.  

Even after all of the work stoppages, we managed to get the quail into their new digs.   They look soooo tiny in there!   Saige was in charge of building hides for them.   Harper was in charge of finding sticks and branches for them.  We were trying to mimic their native ground living environment.  It is a good start, although I have plans of adding a few more things, and I am going hunting for a large tarp to put over the top because the old tin I used didn’t quite cut it.   Since they immediately came out of the kennel and started hiding, I think we accomplished our goal!   I sat down there watching them for a very long time.  If you didn’t believe I was a nerd before, you should have seen me watching these babies yesterday.  All they were doing was hiding.  I’m down there, sitting on my upside down bucket with tears in my eyes at how beautiful they are, and what good little hiders!  I was also playing with goats and a pony, watching the chickens eat some grubs I found, and would probably still be sitting down there, except the sun went down!  The barn has always been my happy place.  Jim should be careful indulging my little farming fantasies, he will have to come down there to see me.   Orrrr maybe this is his way of having the house all to himself?  

I am equally happy to see my grandkids playing outside.   Too many kids with their faces buried in the screens in my opinion.  

Know who else loves to watch birds?   Ollie.  Although he also loves to eat them, and I have no doubt he was trying to figure out how to get a tasty snack out of the new project!   

It is now Sunday.  I was up early not because I have to be, but because when the alarm went off so we could get ready for church, I realized I never set the clocks back.  If I used my phone as an alarm like the kids do, it would not be a problem, but I am old school!   Early isn’t bad, I have my chores done, got my laundry started and updated the blog.  I am always early, it is one of my fatal flaws.  It came from my father, who had this law if you’re late you’re left, and got us everywhere we needed to be at least half an hour early.  We were always the people who ended up having to help set things up because we were early.   In my adulthood, I am still doing it.  However, I married a man who is chronically running late.  (Remember when I said opposites attract?).  I have found myself lying to him about what time we have to be places just so he will be on time. I love him, but his time management skills give me anxiety.   I should know by now that everything always works out, but it is just too ingrained.   So when the alarm goes off, I get up.  I won’t go back to bed because, I’m up.   Jim rolls over and back to sleep he goes. It sort of makes me jealous, to have the ability to say “I have an hour I can sleep” and actually go back to sleep.  If the alarm goes off, I am up.   No more sleep for this brain, it goes straight into a list of things to accomplish, lists of things to make other people accomplish, places to be, food that needs to be cooked, lists that need added onto.  Such is the life of a crazy person I guess.  

Embarking on a weekend that isn’t

It is annual inspection time at work.  I enjoy getting out of the office and being outside on beautiful fall days.  I also like looking at the things I manage once in a while.  It is easier to take complaints, understand concerns, and know what people are talking about if you go out there and stand on things once in a while.  Our dams are starting to age.  some of them are not aging gracefully at all.  This dam has a slump and bulge.  This is very alarming and probably not good.  This week, in addition to the annual inspection, we also had our engineering team on site and core drilling done to see if we can tell what is going on.  This is one thing on a growing list of problems and projects we are in the middle of.  We managed to get about 1/3 of the way done inspecting  this week.  I have about half a day of inspections that I will accompany the maintenance person on, and then he will take over conducting the rest with the federal folks.  

The below photo was a moment of celebration today.  We stopped off to see a different kind of project we were doing.  Approximately 25 years ago, we built a lake. part of that project was a siphon and gravity line that was supposed to allow an adjoining landowner to water cattle without the cows getting into the lake water.  I had no idea this was part of that lake, nobody ever mentioned it to me.  Last summer, as I was out there to “manage” a very irate neighbor, the man who has the land on the back side told me it sure would be nice if our watering system worked.  Say what now?   He said it hasn’t worked for 20+ years.  Why he never complained I have no clue, but I’ve been at the watershed district for 19 years and this was the first I’ve heard of it.   Luckily, there is some money available for infrastructure projects, and although I have been unsuccessful in getting any of it for my projects, the local watershed restoration guy had a few tricks up his sleeve.  He was able to not only get the system upgraded to solar power, he was also able to find the original equipment and modify it, saving thousands.  He also found the money to pay for well over half of it.     We drove in today as they were trying the solar pump out for the first time.  Looks successful to me!  

When I got home this evening I hired my crew (guilted the girls) and we got started on building our quail run.  First step- moving the chickens out of the pen I wanted to use.  This meant fixing, clearing and re-doing some things in an old cage we had for them.  Once that was done, we started in reinforcing the smaller pen, putting up poultry netting to keep them in, and setting up all of the supplies they need.  I thought this process would take a couple of hours, but I was wrong.  After 3 hours, we are approximately 1/2 way there.  As a result, the quail are spending another night in the garage cage.  They don’t seem to mind at all, they are eating, drinking, and  making happy noises out there.  Quail are messy, and I was worried about changing their bedding, but they stayed calm and we were able to get them all clean and dry!   I am obsessed with how pretty they are.  

Unfortunately, I cannot get up early and finish their run.  I am working tomorrow, driving junior high basketball.  Luckily, the tournament they are playing in is supposed to be finished by noon, so I should have some afternoon time to get it done.  This is Harper’s month to be sacristan, but I believe if Quincy doesn’t have to spend another evening helping me with bird projects, she would happily drive her over to take care of it!  

The bad part of inspection time is that I can’t hang with my office assistant, and I didn’t get to see my best girls for the last couple of days.  I missed them.  Madison supplied me with updates though.  Wrenley is 4 months old today!  Time marches on.  

Between working tomorrow, working my liquor store shift on Sunday, cleaning, doing laundry, building quail cages, planning out Sunday dinner, making sure Harper gets her church duties done, making sure Quincy is ok house sitting at the neighbor’s, and trying to finish up a couple of other projects, this is definitely not going to be a “weekend” at all.  Reminding myself to breathe and be thankful.  Life is good.  

My new project (happy wife/happy life)

A couple years ago, I met a man through work who raises both quail and pheasants.  I spoke with him for a very long time, asking many, many questions.  He seemed happy to share his knowledge, and was more than happy to show me his facilities and told me about how much demand there is for stocking some of the local hunting preserves.  That sort of lead me to doing some reading and watching prices at several poultry and exotic auctions.  Then I sort of dropped the idea, a couple of years passed and nothing came of it.  Until around 4 months back, when I saw these people claiming to be raising “indoor chickens.”   The indoor chickens were not chickens at all. They were quail.  As I was thrown back into the idea I had a couple years ago, I also read a couple of articles claiming that the  best source of antioxidants and superior nutrition was found in quail eggs.  I then did some checking, and found a lot of people selling the eggs for rather pricey amounts.  I did a whole bunch of reading from a variety of sources.  After that, I approached the topic with Jim.  He was courteous and listened to every single thing I told him, and then sort of got this far away look and said  “do you know how many  tiny quail eggs you would need to make a decent size breakfast?”  And that was the end of the conversation for a few weeks.  When we were on vacation, we had a lot of time to revisit it, and Jim told me he didn’t care if I wanted to give it a try.   I found a few birds relatively close for sale, but with the weather quickly turning cold, I told Jim I thought waiting until spring, working on the pen through the fall and winter, and doing a little more reading might be a good idea.  I also talked to a friend of Colin’s who has been raising them just to try to reestablish  the wild population around this area.  

And then last week, I bought a wreath from a girl in our 4-H club.  Her mom mentioned to me that they were in

On the way to pick up a few quail from a man, and they used them to teach their dogs to flush.  I half jokingly told her that raising them was on a list of spring projects.  This week, she called.  She had several left from the bunch she bought, and needed to get rid of them before they left for a dog show this weekend.  It seemed like fate so I did what I do.  I jumped in with both feet, rump deep.  Now I am the proud owner of 8 beautiful Bob White quail.  

Tonight’s project - pick them up, run to buy game bird feed, and supplies for their pen.  Tomorrow’s project- build their pen.  Yes, that is always how I do things.  Backward.  Upside down, swinging from the seat of my pants.  And I’m happy.  Happy about the opportunity. Happy that Jim seemed excited about it. Happy that these sweet little birds were making content  noises in my garage when I went out for the 35th time to check on them. Happy.  I’m not sure how it will work out, not exactly sure what we have gotten ourselves into, and sure that since I am working all weekend, I am going to have to bust my buns tomorrow, but happy nonetheless.  I can’t wait to eat a little, tiny, antioxidant rich omelet - I figure I can use one of the baby spoons that we got from uncle Ray!   

All saints day

Had a few more Halloween pictures I wanted to save.  I think it’s safe to say everyone had a fun holiday. 

We ended this All saints Day at mass, where we came out to this amazing sunset over the prairie.    The girls were a little too animated, and they make me laugh with their ridiculousness.  

I made a huge batch of chicken noodle soup, and homemade rolls.  We are all sitting around in a comatose state now.  

Tomorrow we are embarking on a new project.  Stay tuned!